gnothi sauton..."know thyself"

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 13:56:09 GMT

Moving.

I'm headed to a new site. Just consolidating.

Happy Holidays, all!

-j.

9/14/06 reviewed.....

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:33:02 GMT

So in September of last year, I posted this....

~*~*~*~*~*~
WE ARE DEEPLY GRATEFUL AND DEEPLY 'PLAID'
Sept. 14, 2006

"Tonight marks the "pre-view" night for the show.... *deep sigh*

I finally got to watch the show on Tuesday from the audience's perspective for the first time since I joined the project. Before rehearsal, I had all these things to check on and tweak... I was flippin' out a little. But I tell you, about a third of the way into it, I started crying. I made that. Me. The girl that just tinkers and doesn't have a clue what she's really doing. That. That beauty, and mood, and wow. It was one of the top five most rewarding moments in my theatre-ness being. Seriously.

This revelation depleted a few anal things on the list and let me focus on the more important ones. It's really come together even more since then, but there's a few lingering special effects I need to do. I still have a sign to finish putting together, light up, and hang, and three "special effect" lights to figure out, hang, focus, and patch into the electrical system. Needless to say, today will be BUSY. (The sign will probably not be ready tonight, but will be tomorrow... but I'll be doing my darnedest just the same. *wink*) I'd take half a day off to finish, but ... yeah... work.

So, back this summer, a post-doc, Liz, came to work with us. She's amazing. Her husband is a new professor here and approached me to work for him. He created a position for me, and wanted me to start in a week from this upcoming Monday. I needed to give notice THIS Monday to make this work. There are a few problems with this."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Funny thing, I'm working on the sequel to said show. Trying to bring that PLAID magic back for the holiday season. It's fun, it's daunting, and it's hella rewarding when it's done, but until then, I'm exhausted and frazzled. But I can't wait to see the biggest explosion of holiday PLAID lights ever. Good times. Good times.

As for that little job offer. I'm here. I love it. and I'm thrilled to be working with Dr. KO. The best part, his mom was a LOT like me on the theatre needs, and he's really cool with me slacking off for a few weeks here and there as long as I keep going gangbusters the rest of the time. I've got one sweet gig, ladies and gents.

Anyway... just dropped in to see what was up with folks, looked back on my entries, and tried not to laugh. I wish I could nap. =)

Happy mid-November, all!

Another dream.

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 19:01:32 GMT

Last night I had a dream.

(mad props to anyone who thought "RENT!")

Ashley (my #3 sister) had died and came back. She was hanging out with Mom, Dad (divorced for over 10 years), Myra (sis #2), and myself. As we are now. Without our spouses, child, etc. (And note the absence of sis #4... hmm.) It was weird. We were hanging out in the streets of Chicago or Urbana, I couldn't tell. It almost had the elements of Lafayette. *shrug* Then, it stormed and a crack of lightening cut power to one three story building. Then we heard an elevator fall and a woman pushed a man out of the elevator straight onto the sidewalk. And the building collapsed. Ashley was pretty nonplussed by the situation, but the rest of us were shocked. Also, earlier, my cat, Poo came back too. I think my subconscious is totally in love with "Pushing Daisies".

Today I went to rat training (just to make sure I knew what I was doing - and to get ideas for training students. They just broke ground on the building next to ours, RIGHT OUT SIDE MY OFFICE WINDOW, even though they broke ground almost two weeks ago. Silly University. I got my allergy shots (rats, dust, mold) and have been generally relaxing as much as possible. I'm tired. No rehearsal tonight, but surgery. Joy. I think I'd rather go home at this point.

Gardening, garagesale prep., laundry, and sleep. That's the weekend. -oh. And rehearsal on Sun. ok. ciao. Miss you all.

-j.

Book Club!

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 01:17:28 GMT

Heyya! I have an informal mail-bookclub thingy. I'm looking for participants. If you're interested in mailing a book (or audiobook) to a person and sending a chain letter to six people, let me know. You're supposed to get 36 books out of it in return. Thanks!

-j.

Dreaming of you...

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 19:12:36 GMT

This was just too vivid so i had to share... I think the folks that know the involved parties will especially find this amusing.

The night before last I slept better than I had slept in a long time. One of those nights when you fall asleep immediately, and the next thing you know it’s morning and you remember a dream vividly and are refreshed.

But I woke up a little earlier than I intended. For those of you who do not know herbivorous or samwise... do not make your character judgements on them by this entry alone. (Especially poor herbivorous!!) This entry does in NO WAY reflect on the real people, just my fried brain. This is a dream. And like in any dream, things get weird and all. I just want to make that clear.

The dream went something like this….

herbivorous had contacted me and wanted to hold a herbalists’ convention in our yard. OK. Sure. For days people are coming and settling up tents in our back yard (which was about double to triple the size it really is without being any different than it really is).

I’m not around much because I have to work and then have rehearsals, so I just check the progress of the group from my window in the morning, looking out over our back yard. One day, I look out and I see that the group has built 20-30 of these stone fireplace looking things side by side. Imagine something like a cross between laundry yards in India, work cubicles, and fire hearths side by side, each constructed like those you saw in the beautiful anglo fairytales picture books. We’re talking BIG stone structures.

This would have been intriguing, except that they stripped my yard down, digging about 5 feet down and then built these little hearth-cubbies. . . I mentioned to … someone… that I didn’t appreciate that and hoped they would be gone and my yard restored before the end of the event.

A few days later, I wake up, and look outside. The backyard is immaculate, lush, and green. herbivorous and her herbalist minions built a wooden deck in the backyard, shaped like a lilypad. They were holding a meeting on it, but I thought it was loverly. I left.

When I came home, I was shocked to see that they had built a ramp to my home’s front door… made of brick. I asked someone standing around about it and they said it would “help make the center more accessible”. I appreciated the sentiment, having a friend who cannot come visit my home because of accessibility issues, but there were some major issues with this situation as my head wrapped around it.
1. They never asked.
2. Did they just say “the Center”?!?!?
3. The brick was a different texture than the brick on the house. That is so not cool.

And that made me think of Kevin. Oh, no. He would hate this. Maybe it would be ok and we could live with it. I knew Kevin would inspect the work. So I did.

The mortar had big holes in it between the brick, and I knew it wasn’t going to pass his inspection. So I tried to fill the holes with some remaining mortar sitting near by. When I put it up by the hole, it was liquid metal! It beaded up and slid right off onto the ground. Liquid metal?!?! Liquid metal?!?! Are you kidding me?

herbivorous knows that mercury is toxic! And we are planning on children – someday! And… wait a minute… how did they make the yard so beautiful practically overnight? They must have just filled in the big hole, with the stone hearths intact, and laid sod! But I want to dig in my yard! I want a garden! Maybe we’ll add on someday! Oh The INSANITY!

I stormed to the back. herbivorouswas in a tent made of mosquito netting, sitting, meditating. I stormed in and I ripped into her like noone’s business. I don’t really get that mad at folks. And if I do, I can, almost without fail, control my admittedly VERY firey anger. But not today. I laid into her like a bull into a bucket.

My husband will KILL me AND her when he comes home! What was she thinking? She never asked to do these projects. This is my HOME, not an herbalist clinic! The brick is different, and shoddily done and Kevin is going to just DIE when he sees it. AND THE MURCURY?!?!?!

Suddenly,samwise enters in behind me. He says, “It’s ok, Julia. I’m here,” and sits quietly behind me.

I realize the sensation of someone’s arm on my tummy, holding me. I start to gain consciousness slightly and vaguely realize in my still complete unconsciousness that I’ve been dreaming. Kevin is in bed, trying to keep me from waking the dead. And I drift back to sleep. Quietly.

Next thing I know, it’s time to get up and I realize I remember all these details. I figured I was thrashing around in bed, screaming “at herbivorous” about the brick and how my husband is going to go ape shit when Kevin tried to console me.

I was humbled and went to the gym. I couldn’t help but think about this all day and shared it when I got home. Kevin says he wondered what the hell I was trying to do. He reports I was not yelling, or thrashing, but I was mumbling a phrase with force and anger, but quieted down almost as quickly as I started. He said I never do that, so he was startled a bit.

Whew. Thank God. I thought I was waking the neighbors.
=)

She's coming back

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 18:59:11 GMT

so... what do you think?

riverbend-massage.com
riverbendtherapy.com
riverbend-therapy.com
riverbend-cmt.com
riverbendlafayette.com
or
riverbend-lafayette.com?

This was too funny not to post... sorry, folks.

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 13:54:26 GMT

On the twelfth day of Christmas, konpheoozed sent to me...

Twelve robodarts drumming

Eleven skywind8s knitting

Ten krimbels a-dancing

Nine gmmelliemels acting

Eight grammarwomans a-gardening

Seven die_sternes a-healing

Six the_sweens a-directing

Five ci-i-i-ity_of_dis

Four rivers

Three politics

Two girl scouts

...and a wine in a kevin colby.

Give Thanks!

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 15:12:44 GMT

I usually don't do the memes, but this is an email I received today that I wanted to pass along to all my readers.
What if this could be as widespreading as the memes?!?!?

Post this to your site and watch it spread!

-j.

~*~*~*~*~*~

This is something fantastic that Xerox is doing for our troops for Thanksgiving... and it is fun to browse the site too!

If you go to this web site, www.letssaythanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to so me member of the armed services.

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!! This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second. Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?

Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them...

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 14:10:43 GMT

I'm sorry, but this is too funny.

Site of the day: earphones suggested.

not MY 15 minutes of fame...

Tue, 27 Jun 2006 21:32:46 GMT

In case you're interested in my Dr. Boss, innovation from where I work, and general yapping about cool biotech:

http://www.worldtalkradio.com/archive.asp?aid=7163

Scroll down to the interview with Dr. Richard Borgens

Enjoy!

(when he says Traumatic Brain Injury, that's ME!)

deep sigh

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 14:48:35 GMT

There were so many good things about this past weekend, but I don't have time to explore them all today... Work calls... ya know.

My 10 year high school reunion was this weekend. As was the termination of my responsibilities on the alumni board. Seeing all these folks with whom I shared the most valuable experience of my life, visiting Chicago, hanging out with Casielynn a little extra, visiting IMSA, thanking SPaM for dreaming of, creating, and fighting for the school in the eve of her last year in the spotlight at IMSA, getting the responsibility off my chest and seeing how my frustrating tenure on the board actually DID amount to something, and sharing ideas and concerns with IMSA's team for redirection in their third decade... it helped. A lot.

I fell asleep on the sofa last night between putting up ceiling panel #2 and #3. Kev was drilling painstakingly placed holes in the panel so that tomorrow we can drill the hole for the lights and install it. Somehow among all that, and the TV's noise, I fell asleep only to awaken at 5:30am feeling the most calm, centered, and grounded I have felt in a LONG time. That's right. Like before the engagement, almost a year and three months ago. I felt tight places in myback loosen, my hips, my ribcage, even my neck. The warm, radiating energy I often felt in my core during my time at soma and immediately following when I was a practicing CMT was back in my being. And with that I smiled. Reveled in it, enjoyed it, and went upstairs to cuddle and fall asleep next to my slumbering husband.

After almost a year of trying to adjust this one little spot at the top of my thoracic spine with no success, at the reunion, I straightened up in my chair to address a former classmate only to finally get that relieving little "pop" right in the place I've needed it most. Amazing how the body heals itself under the right circumstances!

People always talk about how these reunions are about everyone trying to impress others, seeing who has gained 50 pounds, who has become bald... in our case, it really is about seeing that everyone is happy. And, believe it or not, our class looked GREAT! And everyone has had an amazing story to share. Watching the fireworks at Navy Pier - like we did just over ten years ago on our post-prom cruise brought back as many memories as watching the senior video - complete with the same reactions we gave ten years ago.

It was alot more about feeling like you were "home" and in the presence of this amazing, comforting energy than about the "who's who and what do they look like" you get typically.... to me it was near-heaven.

And now, all the building energy, anxiety, and motivation problems I've been facing over the last six months have been relieved. I feel like I'm starting all over again, but yet am back to where I was a long time ago... a place I was happiest with and proudest of. Thank you, gentle reader, for being kind and sympathetic, and unjudgemental during this last year or two of hard changes. *sigh* I feel like I'm finally back.

Comfort

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 16:21:40 GMT

Comfort is such an elusive thing, isn’t it? One thing creatures return to, time and time again is ritual – the ritual we were raised in is the ritual we turn to when our world is pressing in on us. It brings us back to ourselves, our roots, our families, and our ancestors.

Religion is possibly the most blaring example of this. I have been unhappy with the church I was raised in, but yet, every time I look elsewhere, it just isn’t the same. I miss the rituals of the United Methodist Church. In theology, I’m more Hindhu or even Unitarian Universalist –pure inclusive, favoring spirituality over religion-, in worship almost Catholic in my love for reverent, ritualized worship, and in politics, the farthest left of the left. But yet… I just can’t leave the comfort of Methodist hymns and liturgy.

But there’s more than this… it comes into home life. Now, today, on this one year anniversary of homeownership, and nearly 10 months of marriage, I see the value and impact of ideals, ritual, and what it means to be comfortable.

An orderly home is more comfortable… like a small child or pet needing a dominant figure to be completely happy, we need an orderly, familiar place to rely on in the hardest of days.

A woman’s need to care for her family runs so deeply sometimes… but yet, sometimes the outward caring may be rebuked. I know I rebuked many of my mother’s attempts to coddle and care. Subtlety isn’t one of my family’s strong points. So… today I realize that what I and –possibly all?- creatures need is a lot more of the framework to a smooth, comfortable, predictable life.

Kind of old fashioned to think of it, but it seems like as wife – and eventual mother – my need to care for my family should be directed more into the making of a ~~“leave it to beaver”~~ *insert favorite homemaker's magazine here* kind of optimism, comfort, and gulp perfection in the home. But a place where people can celebrate their joys but also discuss their daily hinderances… facilitation and empowerment of individuals… a feeding source of the soul, heart, and body.

I want to reject this, but lately I’ve had a lot of messages from the world that this is something I need to focus on more than anything. And sometimes the world isn’t gentle. So, I guess now it’s my turn to work on that gentleness, but keep it healthy, keep it a little raw, and above all keep it real.

Mostly, I shouldn’t run from near-perfection. My fears seated in years of being the “perfect family” and all the dirt comes out after 20+ years into a crumbling, festering wound that while hardly much concern anymore, is still and will always be healing. It is amazing how marriage allows even more introspection, reopening, and even further healing of family history.

I’ve spent the last ten years of my life rejecting near-perfection. Many things stood in the way, but ultimately, I wouldn’t allow myself to reach it… something always stopped me from completing something despite amazing momentum, or the energy would just drain away and keep me from doing something about the list of things my brain would constantly tell me I should be doing.

Somehow, a small series of events has finally lead me to realize this about myself. After months of trying to be better about taking care of my body, being a better worker, attending to the garden, whatever… finally things start to come into focus. Maybe it has more to do with my ten year IMSA reunion on Saturday…

a celebration of the first day of the hardest summer of my life. Great. No wonder I’ve been dreading it like a colonoscopy. Every time I think about going, I feel sick. At an intensity that grows in a direct correlation to the decrease in days before the event. I’ve tried to figure out why…

Until now I felt it was mostly having to do with facing my friends. In my own, neurotic way, I owe them an apology. For being married. For being different since I got married? For not being in contact as much. For that conversation back at that Irish pub two years ago. (When I said things would change, I didn’t mean I never wanted to talk to you again.)

Then there’s the new guilt… For not feeling up to even facing the upcoming reunion enough to make hotel reservations until last night? For not being my usual self and suggesting, planning, and executing the planning of a big old-style weekend-long slumber party where everyone crashes together in one big hotel room?

Part of me says it’s all in my head, but my heart feel so guilty. And part of me reassures myself that some things do and will change and that we have ALL changed… as much as I want them to accept where I am, I have to accept that they are different too. Maybe expectations aren’t the same. But a part of me nags and says they are.

But maybe it has just as much, if not more to do with the falling apart of my childhood – my comforts, my rituals, my spiritual, social, and family life in three simple months… It all started June 1, 1996.

So… let’s go celebrate. With as much cheer and ...

...

... as much joy as possible. Celebrate overcoming that summer… celebrate where I’ve been and where I am… Celebrate life, and love, and learning to accept so much of all those things in life and in myself and in my church and in my family...

...

...that I rejected for so long. The healing and the opportunity to...

...

...make my own comfort, my own ritual, my own place in this world, and my own life.

I even think I’ll have the courage to face people and tell them that I haven’t sung in almost a year, and yes, I miss it, yes, I studied, yes I wanted it, no, it didn’t happen, and yet... I’m getting closer to being at peace with that… that too. *meek grin*

To celebrate tomorrow and honor ourselves and the strides we have made. It wasn’t about battles lost… (damn it, I need to eat lunch with my colleagues, pull yourself together, girl!)… but about a lot of battles overcome in just a few, short, ten years. To learning that near-perfection is something that can be honorable and healthy to pursue. As long as you stay real.

To the next ten years.

I told you I was a good witch...

Mon, 22 May 2006 15:10:42 GMT

For those of you - I think most - who do not see me in Lafayette, you might find this surprising... lets just say marriage, atleast to my prince, and academia has made me a little more willing and able to take a back seat.

When I saw this quiz I couldn't resist. Enjoy.

What kind of 'witch' are you?

You are a spirit witch. Many envy you because you draw your power from within. A mix of all resides within your vital spirit and makes you what is called a "natural" witch. Lucky you. Your powers of intuition are extraordinary, you're intelligent, creative, and beautiful but have a sense of mystery about you. You have a tendency to stay invisible and don't like a lot of attention. You have a strong urge to travel and most likely have already been further than most.
Take this quiz!

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| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

holy wowsers!

Mon, 08 May 2006 14:27:59 GMT

Hey! Sorry I've been absent. I haven't been online more than a few seconds at a time since thursday earlier morning.
For a real update, click here.

On Assignment: An Inquiry

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 13:21:04 GMT

Hey, y'all.

I need YOUR help. I'm looking for good reading/theatre material.

I've been asked to throw in a few ideas for a progressive (but not "out there") theatre company and want to expand my own horizons... So, if you have any ideas of plays, OR MUSICALS, you would love to see done someday, or think I should just read (and listen to) it for the heck of it give me your young.
*grin*

Nah.. just give me the name and writer and I'll look 'em up.

Or if they're original works *cough*M-A*cough* send them to me.

I need to get recs in REALLY SOON, so the faster, the better.

-But I'll be bored at work all summer. *wink*
Thanks, all!

-j.

Just because

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 17:44:31 GMT

Well, I had to really... I mean, come on.
And alot of the questions were hard for me to argue with, even if I didn't feel they were a good barometer of my faith. What I find most intresting is that I was raised Methodist, yet it is one of the lowest compatability scores I received. Go fig. =)

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

</td>

Emergent/Postmodern

86%

Classical Liberal

82%

Modern Liberal

57%

Roman Catholic

46%

Neo orthodox

39%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

29%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

18%

Reformed Evangelical

Fundamentalist

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Question #3

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 20:52:28 GMT

What do you long for?

Question #2

Wed, 29 Mar 2006 18:10:51 GMT

What is the one thing you have done that has proven the most rewarding?

Question #1

Tue, 21 Mar 2006 18:15:55 GMT

What inspires you?

The Gospel of Mary

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 21:45:21 GMT

Our study of the Gospel of Mary 2

STUDENTS SPEAK WITH THE SAVIOR

"Will matter be destroyed or not?:

The savior said, "All nature, all formed things, all creatures exist in and with one another and will be resolved into their own roots. The nature of matter is resolved into its nature alone. Whoever has ears should hear."

Peter said to him, "Since you have explained everything to us, tell us also, what is the sin of the world?"

The savior said, "There is no sin, but you create sin when you mingle as in adultery, which is called sin. 3. That is why the good came to be with you, to enter the essence of each nature, and to restore it to its root." He continued, "That is why you become sick and die, for you love what deceived you. 4. Whoever understands should understand.

"Matter gave birth to a passion that has nothing like it and came from what is contrary to natue. Then there arises a disturbance in the whole body. That is why I said to you, ' Be of good courage', 5. and if you are dicouraged, still take courage in the diverse forms of nature. Whoever had ears to hear should hear."

When the blessed one said these things, he greetes all of them, saying, "Peace be with you. 6. Receive my peace. Be careful that no one leads you astray with 'Come over here!' or 'Go there!' The human child is within you. 7. Follow him! Those who seek him will find him. Go then and preach the gospel of the kingdom. Do not follow any other words other than these that I have commanded, and do not establish laws, as the lawgiver did, so that you will not be bound by them."

When he said this, he left.

MARY CONSOLES THE STUDENTS, BUT PETER CHALLENGES HER

The students were grieved. They wept profoundly, saying, "How can we go to the gentiles and preach the gospel of the kingdom of the human child? If they did not spare him, will we be spared?"

Then Mary stood up, greeted them all, and said to her brothers, "Do not weep and do not grieve or be irresolute, for his grace will be fully with you and will protect you. Rather, let us praise his greatness. He prepared us and made us truly human."

When Mary said this, she turned their hearts to the good, and they began to discuss the words of the savior.

Peter said to Mary, "Sister, we know that the savior loved you more than other women. Tell us the words of the savior that you remember, which you know and we do not. We have not heard them."

Mary answered, saying, "What is hidden from you I will reveal to you."

She began to speak these words, saying, "I saw the lord in a vision and I said to him, 'Lord, I saw you today in a vision.'

"He answered and said to me, 'Blessings on you, since you did not waver at the sight of me. Where the mind is, there is the treasure.' 8.

"I said to him, 'Lord, how does a person sere a vision, through the soul or through the spirit?'

"The savior answered, saying, 'A person sees neither through the soul nor the spirit. The mind, which lives between the two, sees the vision...' "

MARY RECOUNTS HER VISION OF THE SOUL'S ASCENT BEYOND THE POWERS

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9.

"Desire said, 'I did not see you descending, but now I see you ascending. Why are you lying, since you belong to me?'

"The soul answered and said, 'I saw you, but you did not see me or know me. You perceived the garment I was wearing, 10. but you did not recognize me.'

"After the soul said this, she left, rejoicing greatly.

"The soul approached the third power, called ignorance. The power questioned the soul, saying, 'Where are you going? You are bound by wickedness, you are bound, so do not pass judgement.'

"The soul said, 'Why do you pass judgement on me, thought I have not passed judgement? I was bound, but I have not bound. I was not recognized, but I have recognized that all is to be dissolved, both what is earthly and what is heavenly.'

"When the soul overcame the third power, she ascended and saw the fourth power. It took seven forms:
    The first form is darkness,
    the second, desire,
    the third, ignorance,
    the fourth, death wish,
    the fifth, fleshly kingdom,
    the sixth, foolish fleshy wisdom,
    the seventh, angry person's wisdom.
These are the seven powers of wrath.

"The powers asked the soul, 'Where are you coming from, slayer of humans, and where are you going, conqueror of space?'

"The soul answered and said, 'What binds me is slain, what surrounds me is destroyed, my desire is gone, ignorance is dead. In a world I was freed through another world, and in an image I was freed through a heavenly image. This is the fetter of forgetfulness that exists in the world of time. From now on I shall rest, through time, age, and aeon, in silence.' "

PETER AND ANDREW DOUBT MARY'S WORD

When Mary said this, she fell silent, since the savior had spoken to her of all these things. But Andrew answered, saying to the brothers, "Say what you think about what she has said. I do not believe that the savior said this. These teachings are of strange ideas."

Peter also opposed her about all this. He asked the others about the savior, "Did he really speak to a woman secretly, without our knowledge, and not openly? Are we to turn and all listen to her? Did he prefer her to us?" 11.

LEVI COMES TO MARY'S DEFENSE

Then Mary wept and said to Peter, "My brother, Peter, what do you think? Do you think I concocted this in my heart or I am lying about the savior?"

Levi answered, saying to Peter, "Peter, you are always angry. Now I see you contending against this woman as if against in adversary. If the savior made her worthy, who are you to reject her? Surely the savior knows her very well. That is why he loved her more than us. We should be ashamed and put on the perfect person 12. and be with him as he commanded us, and we should preach the gospel, without making any rule or law othr than what the savior said."

When Levi said these things, they began to go out and proclaim and to preach.

2. Text and most footnotes are from the Gospel of Mary: from The Gnostic Bible by Barnstone
    & Meyer

3. On adultery as improper mingling with the world, see Herakleon's Commentary on the
    Gospel of John 18, and the Exegenesis of the Soul.

4. This discussion of sin recalls that of Paul in Romans 7. The clause "For you love what
    deceives you" is from the reconstruction in the translation of Karen King in The Complete
    Gospels, p. 355.

5. See Luke 24:38; John 14:27.

6. See John 14:27; 20:19; 21, 26.

7. See Luke 17:21; Gospel of Thomas 113. "Human child" may also be translated "human son"
    or "son of man," here and below.

8. See Matthew 6:21

9. Pages 11 - 14 are missing from the Coptic text of the Gospel of Mary. Mary's vision of the soul's
    ascent beyond the cosmic powers seems to have included four stages ofthe ascent, perhaps to
    describe the soul's liberation from the four elements of the material world. The name of the first
    power, missing in the text, may well have been darkness (see the list of forms for the fourth power
    below). The other powers are desire, ignorance, and a deadly composite power of wrath. The soul
    is successful in her ascent from this world of matter and body, and she is free at last.

10. The garment is the body.

11. On the hostility of Peter against Mary, see Gospel of Thomas 114, as well as another gnostic
      text, not included in this volume, entitled Pistis Sophia.

12. See "Living Water" in the Gospel of Phillip.

The Gospel of Mary, Historical Perspectives II

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 20:15:22 GMT

A second HP on the Gospel of Mary

Ok. So I missed the boat and didn't say why this might be
interesting to anyone. The gospel is short and not so sweet,
but speaks largely for itself.

This gospel turns heads as it places new light on not only
Mary Magdalene and her role in the teachings of Jesus, but
also may hold the key to the beginnings of Gnosticism, and
is said to tell why women have been "second class citizens"
in much of church history. It most certainly contains
telling evidence of instant division in the first few years
of Christianity.

When I first read this a few years ago, I was aghast.
I hope it opens up a pandora's box for you as well.

Enjoy.

(For those of you keeping score, the History Channel
special is Tomorrow. See the last post for details.)

The Gospel of Mary, Historical Perspectives

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 17:18:59 GMT

Historical Perspectives on The Gospel of Mary.

Howdy, all. Thanks for still checking this site after my brief leave of absence. As promised, we will be studying the Gospel of Mary.

As mentioned earlier, there will be a great little special on the History Channel about the Gospel of Mary and the Gospel of Thomas this Friday, Feb 24th, at 9am EST / 8am CST AND at 3pm EST / 2pm CST... (It's worth recording... I hope to record it for those of you without cable.... but don't hold me to that.) Also, for those interested in the bible, and various interpretations there of, you might want to check out the listings immediately following both of these showings. See the History Channel's website for more information.

There are tons of websites out there about Mary Magdalene. I've collected just a few that I found interesting for your perusal.

A really good (and brief) start:
Mary Magdalene: Some Basic Facts
The Gospel of Mary; According to the Gnostics

The End All Be All of Magdalene Related Information:
Magdalene.org; A Whole New Religion?
(I'd recommend spending some time here... it's just a beautiful and informative site.)

1989:An Academically Redefining Year for Mary Magdalene.

Mary Magdalene: The Author of the Fourth Gospel?
Mary Magdalene: The Disciple Jesus Loved?
(Scroll down for the english article.)

Taking Magdalene worship to a new level:

Mary of Magdala, Godess in the Gospels?

And because I try to present all sides of this:

Mary Magdalene; According to C. H. Spurgeon, 1868
Mary Magdalene; First Witness to the Resurection

Go. Enjoy. Come back. and Share. *grin*

The Apocryphon of John, pt. XII

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 15:56:12 GMT

Part twelve in our sutdy of the Apocryphon of John.

HYMN OF THE SAVIOR

"I, therefore, the perfect Pronoia of the all, changed myself into my seed, for I existed first, going on every road. For I am the richness of the light; I am the remembrance of the pleroma.

"And I went into the realm of darkness and I endured till I entered the middle of the prison. And the foundations of chaos shook. And I hid myself from them because of their wickedness, and they did not recognize me.

"Again I returned for the second time, and I went about. I came forth from those who belong to the light, which is I, the remembrance of the Pronoia. I entered into the midst of darkness and the inside of Hades, since I was seeking (to accomplish) my task. And the foundations of chaos shook, that they might fall down upon those who are in chaos and might destroy them. And again I ran up to my root of light, lest they be destroyed before the time.

"Still for a third time I went - I am the light which exists in the light, I am the remembrance of the Pronoia - that I might enter into the midst of darkness and the inside of Hades. And I filled my face with the light of the completion of their aeon. And I entered into the midst of their prison, which is the prison of the body. And I said, 'He who hears, let him get up from the deep sleep.' And he wept and shed tears. Bitter tears he wiped from himself and he said, 'Who is it that calls my name, and from where has this hope come to me, while I am in the chains of the prison?' And I said, 'I am the Pronoia of the pure light; I am the thinking of the virginal Spirit, who raised you up to the honored place. Arise and remember that it is you who hearkened, and follow your root, which is I, the merciful one, and guard yourself against the angels of poverty and the demons of chaos and all those who ensnare you, and beware of the deep sleep and the enclosure of the inside of Hades.

"And I raised him up, and sealed him in the light of the water with five seals, in order that death might not have power over him from this time on.

CONCLUSION

"And behold, now I shall go up to the perfect aeon. I have completed everything for you in your hearing. And I have said everything to you that you might write them down and give them secretly to your fellow spirits, for this is the mystery of the immovable race."

And the savior presented these things to him that he might write them down and keep them secure. And he said to him, "Cursed be everyone who will exchange these things for a gift or for food or for drink or for clothing or for any other such thing." And these things were presented to him in a mystery, and immediately he disappeared from him. And he went to his fellow disciples and related to them what the savior had told him.

Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Apocryphon of John, pt. XI

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 15:42:06 GMT

Part eleven in our study of The Apocryphon of John.

ON HUMAN DESTINY

I said to the savior, Lord, will all the souls then be brought safely into the pure light?

He answered me, Great things have arisen in your mind, for it is difficult to explain them to others except to those who are from the immovable race. Those on whom the Spirit of life will descend and with whom he will be with the power, they will be saved and become perfect and be worthy of the greatness and be purified in that place from all wickedness and the involvements in evil. Then they have no other care than the incorruption alone, to which they direct their attention from here on, without anger or envy or jealousy or desire and greed of anything. They are not affected by anything except the state of being in the flesh alone, which they bear while looking expectantly for the time when they will be met by the receivers of the body. Such then are worthy of the imperishable, eternal life and the calling. For they endure everything and bear up under everything, that they may finish the good fight and inherit eternal life."

I said to him, "Lord, the souls of those who did not do these works but on whom the power and Spirit descended, will they be rejected?"

He answered and said to me, "If the Spirit (descended upon them), they will in any case be saved, and they will change (for the better). For the power will descend on every man, for without it no one can stand. And after they are born, then, when the Spirit of life increases and the power comes and strengthens that soul, no one can lead it astray with works of evil. But those on whom the counterfeit spirit descends are drawn by him and they go astray."

And I said, "Lord, where will the souls of these go when they have come out of their flesh?" And he smiled and said to me, "The soul in which the power will become stronger than the counterfeit spirit, is strong and it flees from evil and, through the intervention of the incorruptible one, it is saved, and it is taken up to the rest of the aeons."

And I said, "Lord, those, however, who have not known to whom they belong, where will their souls be?" And he said to me, "In those, the despicable spirit has gained strength when they went astray. And he burdens the soul and draws it to the works of evil, and he casts it down into forgetfulness. And after it comes out of (the body), it is handed over to the authorities, who came into being through the archon, and they bind it with chains and cast it into prison, and consort with it until it is liberated from the forgetfulness and acquires knowledge. And if thus it becomes perfect, it is saved."

And I said, "Lord, how can the soul become smaller and return into the nature of its mother or into man?" Then he rejoiced when I asked him this, and he said to me, "Truly, you are blessed, for you have understood! That soul is made to follow another one (fem.), since the Spirit of life is in it. It is saved through him. It is not again cast into another flesh."

0 And I said, "Lord, these also who did not know, but have turned away, where will their souls go?" Then he said to me, "To that place where the angels of poverty go they will be taken, the place where there is no repentance. And they will be kept for the day on which those who have blasphemed the spirit will be tortured, and they will be punished with eternal punishment."

And I said, "Lord, from where did the counterfeit spirit come?" Then he said to me, "The Mother-Father, who is rich in mercy, the holy Spirit in every way, the One who is merciful and who sympathizes with you (pl.), i.e., the Epinoia of the foreknowledge of light, he raised up the offspring of the perfect race and its thinking and the eternal light of man. When the chief archon realized that they were exalted above him in the height - and they surpass him in thinking - then he wanted to seize their thought, not knowing that they surpassed him in thinking, and that he will not be able to seize them.

"He made a plan with his authorities, which are his powers, and they committed together adultery with Sophia, and bitter fate was begotten through them, which is the last of the changeable bonds. And it is of a sort that is interchangeable. And it is harder and stronger than she with whom the gods united, and the angels and the demons and all the generations until this day. For from that fate came forth every sin and injustice and blasphemy, and the chain of forgetfulness and ignorance and every severe command, and serious sins and great fears. And thus the whole creation was made blind, in order that they may not know God, who is above all of them. And because of the chain of forgetfulness, their sins were hidden. For they are bound with measures and times and moments, since it (fate) is lord over everything.

"And he (the chief archon) repented for everything which had come into being through him. This time he planned to bring a flood upon the work of man. But the greatness of the light of the foreknowledge informed Noah, and he proclaimed (it) to all the offspring which are the sons of men. But those who were strangers to him did not listen to him. It is not as Moses said, 'They hid themselves in an ark' (Gn 7: 7), but they hid themselves in a place, not only Noah, but also many other people from the immovable race. They went into a place and hid themselves in a luminous cloud. And he (Noah) recognized his authority, and she who belongs to the light was with him, having shone on them because he (the chief archon) had brought darkness upon the whole earth.

"And he made a plan with his powers. He sent his angels to the daughters of men, that they might take some of them for themselves and raise offspring for their enjoyment. And at first they did not succeed. When they had no success, they gathered together again and they made a plan together. They created a counterfeit spirit, who resembles the Spirit who had descended, so as to pollute the souls through it. And the angels changed themselves in their likeness into the likeness of their mates (the daughters of men), filling them with the spirit of darkness, which they had mixed for them, and with evil. They brought gold and silver and a gift and copper and iron and metal and all kinds of things. And they steered the people who had followed them into great troubles, by leading them astray with many deceptions. They (the people) became old without having enjoyment. They died, not having found truth and without knowing the God of truth. And thus the whole creation became enslaved forever, from the foundation of the world until now. And they took women and begot children out of the darkness according to the likeness of their spirit. And they closed their hearts, and they hardened themselves through the hardness of the counterfeit spirit until now.

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The Apocryphon of John, pt X

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 20:58:24 GMT

Part ten in our study of the Apocryphon of John.

THE CREATION OF EVE

"Then the Epinoia of the light hid herself in him (Adam). And the chief archon wanted to bring her out of his rib. But the Epinoia of the light cannot be grasped. Although darkness pursued her, it did not catch her. And he brought a part of his power out of him. And he made another creature, in the form of a woman, according to the likeness of the Epinoia which had appeared to him. And he brought the part which he had taken from the power of the man into the female creature, and not as Moses said, 'his rib-bone.'

"And he (Adam) saw the woman beside him. And in that moment the luminous Epinoia appeared, and she lifted the veil which lay over his mind. And he became sober from the drunkenness of darkness. And he recognized his counter-image, and he said, 'This is indeed bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.' Therefore the man will leave his father and his mother, and he will cleave to his wife, and they will both be one flesh. For they will send him his consort, and he will leave his father and his mother ... (3 lines unreadable)

"And our sister Sophia (is) she who came down in innocence in order to rectify her deficiency. Therefore she was called Life, which is the mother of the living, by the foreknowledge of the sovereignty of heaven. And through her they have tasted the perfect Knowledge. I appeared in the form of an eagle on the tree of knowledge, which is the Epinoia from the foreknowledge of the pure light, that I might teach them and awaken them out of the depth of sleep. For they were both in a fallen state, and they recognized their nakedness. The Epinoia appeared to them as a light; she awakened their thinking.

YALDABAOTH DEFILES EVE

"And when Yaltabaoth noticed that they withdrew from him, he cursed his earth. He found the woman as she was preparing herself for her husband. He was lord over her, though he did not know the mystery which had come to pass through the holy decree. And they were afraid to blame him. And he showed his angels his ignorance which is in him. And he cast them out of paradise and he clothed them in gloomy darkness. And the chief archon saw the virgin who stood by Adam, and that the luminous Epinoia of life had appeared in her. And Yaltabaoth was full of ignorance. And when the foreknowledge of the All noticed (it), she sent some and they snatched life out of Eve.

"And the chief archon seduced her and he begot in her two sons; the first and the second (are) Eloim and Yave. Eloim has a bear-face and Yave has a cat-face. The one is righteous but the other is unrighteous. (Yave is righteous but Eloim is unrighteous.) Yave he set over the fire and the wind, and Eloim he set over the water and the earth. And these he called with the names Cain and Abel with a view to deceive.

"Now up to the present day, sexual intercourse continued due to the chief archon. And he planted sexual desire in her who belongs to Adam. And he produced through intercourse the copies of the bodies, and he inspired them with his counterfeit spirit.

"And the two archons he set over principalities, so that they might rule over the tomb. And when Adam recognized the likeness of his own foreknowledge, he begot the likeness of the son of man. He called him Seth, according to the way of the race in the aeons. Likewise, the mother also sent down her spirit, which is in her likeness and a copy of those who are in the pleroma, for she will prepare a dwelling place for the aeons which will come down. And he made them drink water of forgetfulness, from the chief archon, in order that they might not know from where they came. Thus, the seed remained for a while assisting (him), in order that, when the Spirit comes forth from the holy aeons, he may raise up and heal him from the deficiency, that the whole pleroma may (again) become holy and faultless."

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